Death at the hands of the one you love
by engravingwordswiththornsofrose
Summary: When hermione falls in love with a man she swore she never would and another whos love is impossible, she's forced to choose between betraying her friends to survive or be the cause of the death of her lover.
1. Dreams arent always happy

**Disclaimer**: I do not own anything to do with Harry Potter. Sadly I am not the genius, only the person who implements my perspective on what should happen, have happened, or will happen, with the characters.

Chapter 1.

Hermione stood alone in the dark courtyard, and looked at her surrounding. She gazed at her watch and, although it said 11:00 AM, it was as dark as night . She didn't know where she was, or even recall how she got there. Cloaked figures were moving around her, whispering, cackling, and taunting her every move. She stepped back , but tripped on her robes, sending her crashing into the ground. Pain spread through her body, as the figures burst into laughter. Ignoring her pain, she jumped to her feet, whipped out her wand and whispered "Lumos" to try and catch a glimpse at the masked figured. Before she could finish the incantation her wand was sent flying out of her hand into the darkness surrounding her. She stood up abruptly but was sent to her knees by a flash of light which hit her in the back.

Crying out in pain, Hermione realized she was the only one making noise. She stopped mid-cry and listened intently, but no sound could be heard.

Breaking the silence was a mans voice, "Well well, look who we have here." The voice was deep, and dark. Hermione knew the voice. Her mind was running through profiles of people she had met, but nobody in particular came into view.

He walked up and stood in front of her. "What should we do with this one?"

Snickers could be heard in the distance, as the tall man kneeled down in front of her, and cupped her chin with his hand, making her lift her head to meet his face. Her eyes scanned his mask, making contact with his own. She knew those eyes, and knew them well, but before she could recognize them, everything surrounding her went black.

**--**

Hermione shot out of bed, startled at her dream. Sweat drenched her pillow and clothing, as she tried to slow down her breath. She kept on having the same dream for days on end, and was getting more frustrated as each day passed.

Once again she tried to look back on that day two weeks before, but she could only remember as far as her dreams would let her.

_Why couldn't she remember farther?_

_And who was that man?_

_He was so… intriguing… and… infatuating. If only she knew who he was! Those eyes… that voice… she couldn't pin point it. But he consumed her thoughts… her dreams… she wanted to know so bad!_

Flustered, she rose from her bed, her nightgown just barely reaching the floor. She opened the door to her room, and went downstairs. Maybe some warm milk and a sleeping drought could help her fall asleep. She made her way into the kitchen and retrieved her items. On the way back, she noticed a dim light in the living room. Peeking her way around the corner she noticed it was Remus, sitting on the couch reading one of the many books.

_He's so beautiful… I shouldn't disturb him… I should just leave._

As she turned to walk away, she heard the familiar voice. "Hermione? What are you doing up to late?" His voice was warm, and loving, but definetly not the one from her dream.

"I… I couldn't sleep," she stuttered, trying to explain why she wasn't asleep like the others.

"Is there a particular reason why?" Remus asked. His eyes were filled with concern, and his voice was caring.

_What should I tell him?_

"It was a dream I had…"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

_No…_

She paused for a moment thinking. He was one of her closest friends. Almost as close as Harry, and Ron. But she couldn't tell him… He would worry, and try to analyze it. She couldn't tell him… at least not yet.

"It wasn't anything much… just a memory," she frantically tried to think. One that was hurt, and disturbing… "Of Sirius, when he fell into the veil," she quickly added.

_Why did I lie?_

Remus eyed her suspiciously. "Are you going to be alright to go to bed Hermione?"

_No… don't let me go…_

"Yes. Ill be fine"

She left the room nervously, trying not to let her feelings get the best of her. Slowly she made her way up to her room, thoughts running frantically through her head.

_Why did I lie to him? I know he would worry, but I should worry too. He's the closest one to me… I should've just told him the truth._

_But he looked so peaceful there, alone, happy… and… gorgeous. Maybe I should go back, maybe I should… I don't know… sit with him a while…_

_No Hermione! He's married… and has a kid… and is so… wonderful…_

_Hermione always had a fancy for Remus, but she kept it to herself. It wasn't right for her to love a married man. A father. A werewolf._

_She decided to shutdown her mind as she drank the sleeping draught, and before her head could hit her pillow, she fell into a deep sleep._


	2. Love is unexpectant

A/N: Alright so the story is getting somewhere… not sure where really but I guess we'll all found out sometime soon right?

--

Chapter 2.

"Ugh! I can't do this!" Hermione exclaimed, slamming her pen down onto the desk in front of her. "This is stupid," she grumbled picking up her books and stomping off to her bedroom, leaving her essay lying on the table.

"Bloody Hell… I've never seen her so agitated," Ron stated, wondering what was going on.

"Me neither. I wonder what's wrong," Harry wondered, soon being distracted by his girlfriend.

"Well, no use letting her paper go to waste… I haven't even started mine," Ron claimed walking over to the desk and picking up the paper.

Remus, who was also sitting in the library at the time, gazed at her as she walked away. Following her with his eyes.

As Hermione reached her room, she slammed the door, threw down her books, and jumped onto her bed, burying her head into the pillows. The dream was causing her grief. She couldn't think, she couldn't sleep. There was nothing she could do that wouldn't give her thoughts of it.

It just bothered her, that she couldn't remember. She didn't know what happened after everything went dark. She knew she was awake when all this really happened… even after everything went black, but something had erased her memories… and was only letting her see enough to drive her insane.

Slowly the door creaked open, and footsteps made their way to her bed. Hermione didn't turn around, but she held her breath waiting to find out who it was.

The figure sat down and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Hermione?" asked the voice of a man. A caring, kind voice. Remus.

_Mi god. It's him._

"Yes?" Hermione replied, trying to keep her voice as stable as she could.

Remus paused for a moment. He took a look at her, lying there, refusing to face him.

She was beautiful…

"Are you alright? You stormed away so fast no one got a chance to ask." He questioned.

"Nothing, I… I'm just frustrated," she stuttered.

_Why can't I tell him?! Why won't I let myself!?_

"If you need to talk about anything, Hermione, im here."

"I know," she replied.

"Alright, well if that's all," he said hurt from her being unwilling to tell him. He then stood up.

Hermione turned around quickly, "No! Don't go!"

_SHIT! WHAT DID I JUST SAY??_

Remus looked at her, raising an eyebrow in question.

"I… I mean," she tried to think quickly. "Tonight is a full moon, and I… I want to wish you luck."

_Im so STUPID!!_

"Oh… well yes tonight is a full moon. And, thank you," he said curtly, although his facial expression dropped a bit. He turned and walked to the door. "I'll see you in a few days…" Closing the door behind him he paused a moment and leaned back into the room. "Hermione, if you ever need someone to talk to, my door is always open," he stated, his smile faltering only when he added, "Well except for tonight, because you know… it being a full moon and all."

Hermione smiled, nodding her head in understanding.

Remus smiled back, and quietly whispered "Goodnight," leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

As soon as the door closed, Hermione dropped her head onto the pillow to muffle her scream of frustration.

_He's so gorgeous! And after that slip up all I have to say is good luck?! I should just tell him how I feel… let him know the feelings are there! Who cares if he's married! Who knows… he might have feelings for me! What am I talking about, Im crazy! Why in the world would he love me!?_

--

Remus paused outside her bedroom, unsure whether to go back in and try to help her out some more. She did, in fact, seem like she wanted him there. No, surely… she only wanted to wish him luck, besides… what makes him think a woman like her would have any interest in him, a werewolf.

He remembered her, back in her 3rd year of school. She was so young, so smart, top of her class. Since then she had grown from a small girl, into a woman… and a wonderful one at that.

But no, he was married… he had a son… and surely this was just his hormones, raging from his wolf side. And when this full moon was done, she would be nothing more than a friend… as she had always been.

But she wouldn't leave his thoughts. And he wondered, if only for a moment, that he may have grown to see her as more than a friend. Shaking his head and brushing off the thoughts, he dashed away down the stairs, to finish his tasks before the full moon made its monthly appearance.


	3. Surprise and lust

Chapter 3.

Hermione rolled over in bed and looked at her clock. It read 7:00 PM but it was still fairly light out, so she decided to get up and leave the house for some fresh air and some time to think.

She walked down the stairs slowly, being sure not to let them creak. If the others knew she was going out, they wouldn't want her to go alone… or at least would pry into her business to find out where she was going.

She reached the bottom of the stairs and strolled to the front door calmly, as to not wake up that wretched portrait which lay behind the curtain.

It was a nice day out, she noticed, and there weren't too many people around, which made her walk all the more enjoyable. She walked along the streets, turning corner after corner. Thoughts of the day mere weeks ago, when she first heard that dark voice, consumed her thoughts. And before she knew it she was walking through the very same courtyard. She stopped abruptly and looked around. She took in her surroundings now that everything was lit, and tried to take herself back to that moment. Hermione closed her eyes, trying to picture everything that went on. The darkness. The shadows. The man.

Suddenly two beings strongly grabbed her arms from behind, and she felt suction all around her body. Just then she landed hard on a cement floor, crying out in pain as she hit her knees. Laughing could be heard all around her, as she stood up. There were obviously people in the room with her, but they were hiding in the shadows.

The room was as dark as midnight. Bells rang off in her mind and she heard a voice inside her head. _This is an all too familiar situation._

Once again everything went silent. Hermione strained her ears to try to listen for sounds, but nothing but her breathing could be heard. She could hear footsteps slowly making their way. Heavy ones, getting louder and louder, obviously moving towards her.

Then she heard the voice again. It was deep. Dark. Husky.

"Well Miss. Granger, you sure seem to find yourself in these predicaments often."

"They're the ones who brought me here," she spat defiantly, all sense of fear washing away. If she knew this person than obviously he knew her. But who could she know that would do this to her?

Snickering and whispered could be heard from the crowd, but Hermione tried to shut that out and concentrate on the figure before her. She watched him walk closer, until he was right in front of her.

He was almost half a foot taller than her and had to lean down to her ear to whisper, "Play along and I'll get you out of here." She was confused and puzzled as the figure stated, "Our master will want to see you. I guess I'll have to be the one to take you there," sounding as if this was such a chore for him to do.

He roughly grabbed her arm and lifted her off the ground and walked briskly towards the door of the room, Hermione trailing behind him. He opened the big oak doors and pushed her out, fallowing close behind her.

"Where are you taking me?" she asked him, just as he placed his hands in hers, and she could feel the pressure around her body once again.

This time she landed on a carpeted floor, with the mysterious man still holding her hand. He let go and stalked ahead of her instructing, "Silence you foolish girl and follow me," without looking back.

Reluctantly she followed him, gazing around her. She was in an apartment, that was for sure. It was dimly lit, and the walls were red, casting an eery glow all around. As she followed, she passed room by room, looking in each one. Some were filled to the ceiling with books, others looked almost empty.

The man stopped in front of a closed door, and placed his hand on her shoulder pushing her through the door before him. Facinated by the door itself, Hermione paused to gaze at it, only to be forced into the room by the masked figure. "Sit," he instructed, pointing to a large desk.

Wondering why she couldn't sit on the chair, Hermione propped herself on the desk and stared at him curiously as he trailed his finger along a row of books. His fingers were long, and thin, and Hermione found herself wondering what they would feel like on her body. She shook her head and scolded herself.

_Surely Hermione Granger, you aren't infatuated with this man. You don't even know his name, let alone know what he looks like. _Her inner voice told her. But even Hermione herself had doubts on the matter.

She had to say something. It was all too quiet. Unsure what to do, she made a slight little cough. Grumbling when he ignored her, she cleared her voice louder.

Stopping abruptly, he turned towards her. "Do you want something?" He sounded annoyed.

"Actually, yes," she responded. "Who are you, and why have you brought me here when you could have left me to die with… whoever they were?"

The man continued to gaze at her, his eyes boring deep into her soul. He walked towards her, but all she could find herself doing, was staring into his eyes. "Unfortunately Miss. Granger, I am troubling myself at this moment by bringing you here, because sadly leaving you with those wretched people would play a guilty string of what's left of my concience." By now, his face was mere inches from hers, and she could feel his breath. "Now, if this starts to become a habit of yours, I will be forced to as they say, leave you to the dogs."

_Where did she recognize that voice?! It was driving her insane. But did he say... _

"Wait. Your voice... Professor?" She asked slightly shocked.

She watched as the man tore off his mask letting his long black hair fall into his eyes. "It seems you may just be a little too smart for your own good. Right now we're both in danger because of me trying so rescue you. Which at this point in time I dont see why I bother. You could use a little sense knocked into you," he snarled.

"Well, thank you... for saving me," was all she managed to say in return. As he pulled away from her and continued to search his library. Hermione found herself shocked at the sight of her professor. After the death of Dumbledor he had dissapeared and nobody has heard from he. But even as the fact that he's her professor sunk in, she found herself admiring him nevertheless, which disgusted her. She frantically thought of something to say. "I need to repay you!" She claimed. "For… saving me."

_Oh god what am I saying?!_

"No need," he waved a hand at her, continuing to search.

Irritated at his refusal of her proposal, Hermione insisted, "Really… if you didn't help me, I'd probably be dead."

"Oh, you wouldn't be dead yet. They would have some fun first, but yes eventually you would cease to exist." This caused to mutter involuntarily. "Oh yes they would have their fun," Snape chuckled darkly. "But… if you must," he walked towards her.

Only one thought popped into her mind, and though she cursed herself for thinking this way, she thought she would play along. "I'll do… anything," she replied huskily.

Mere inches from her face he whispered, "Information."

Slightly taken aback she asked "What?" as this wasn't the response she was expecting or, although she wouldn't admit it to herself, hoping for.

"I'm not interesting in getting in your pants, of all peoples, woman. I need information Granger. This is a war were fighting, and we both need to survive. I need information, and you so obviously need protection," he bluntly stated, still only inches from her face.

Knowing exactly what he meant of information she stuttered, "No.. I won't. I know what your asking Professor... and I won't betray them. I can't..."

"Silence girl," Snape snarled, interrupting her. "Either you help me or we both die." He slipped a vial into her hand.

"What's this?" She asked but couldn't get an answer as pressure was felt all around her. Hermione landed on the floor and when she looked around, she found herself alone in her bedroom. She got up, and lied onto her bed, with nothing but the thoughts of what just happened filling her mind, and the strange thoughts of her professor to leave her with questions..

_--_

_A/N: Alright so I prefer the rewrite of this chapter. The whole story is gonna be in a different angle from here on in._


	4. Strange looks

Hermione awoke the next morning still in a daze. She sat up on her bed, her head pounding, and her mind racing.

_Was it all just a dream?_

_No... it couldn't have been... it was so... real._

She thought back to the previous night and remembered the dark room; the hidden people laughing. She remembered him standing in front of her. She could still feel his hand holding her arm, and his body heat as he stood clos.. Her heart fluttered as she thought about it but disgust soon followed.

Ignoring this feeling Hermione stood up and grabbed her robe. She picked up her wand and placed it in her pocket, hand brushed against something cold. She paused a moment, then took the mysterious object to inspect it. It was a vial. A purple vial.

Hermione thought for a moment and realized this was the vial the her old professor placed in her pocket the night before.

_So it wasn't a dream._

She gazed at the vial, placing it on the desk beside her bed, and walked towards the door, stopping briefly to gaze at the liquid.

She walked down the stairs and towards the kitchen, rubbing her temples, and praying to god that nobody was there. She wanted to get in and out without having questions on her whereabouts.

Hermione opened the door and silently swore.

_Bloody Hell... just my luck._

The kitchen was packed with just about everyone in the house. Molly was scuttling around, cooking, and serving the order members, Harry was having what looked like a heated conversation with Ginny, and Ron was animatedly telling his brothers about his last mission and stuffing his face with his mothers food. At the far end of the table Arthur was talking with Kingsley, and Moody about the order's next steps. And then there was Remus. He sat alone, eating his breakfast peacefully. Hermione's heart jumped at the sight of him.

_Should I go over there? Or wait until he notices me._

Remus looked up at her and smiled, his eyes making contact. They were warm, and caring. Then his gaze drifted a bit and his smile faultered, if only slightly. Suddenly she was startled by a women passing her.

"Morning Hermione." It was Tonks. His wife. Jealousy surged through Hermiones veins as Tonks sat beside Remus, kissing him on the head.

She scolded herself for thinking these thoughts, but as she watched, she noticed something strange. Although Remus' smile remained there, his eyes showed something different. Something like reluctance. Something like regret.

"Would you like something to eat dear? A cup of tea perhaps?" Molly asked her, interrupting her thoughts and bringing her back to reality.

"Er... no thank you," Hermione smiled. "Im... not hungry anymore."

She turned on her heels and walked out of the kitchen. With only one pair of eyes watching her as she left.

A/N: Hey guyss Be sure to R&R with thoughts, oppinions, and ideas.


	5. A recall can make you fall

OKAY PLEASE R&R I really want your oppinion! What do you think about the connection between hermione and snape?? Or about the situation she's in and the choice she made! TELL ME=P

Hermione spent the day researching the potion Snape had given her. She was reluctant in trusting a death eater, even if he had been out to save her life.

_Should I take the chance?_

After hours of looking through potion books and other forms of literature, she couldn't find one specific potion that was purple. There were a whole range of them. From healing potions to poisons. Finally after she figured there was no use searching any longer, she left the library and headed to her room.

Taking off her robe and placing in on the coathanger, she walked towards her bed and she glanced at the vial. A note sat beside it, something she hadn't noticed before. Neatly folded, with beautiful green writing, it wrote;

"Theres no use in suppressing your memories. Take the vial."

She stared intently at the note, and picked up the object in question. Taking out the cork she smelled it; the smell sweet like honey.

Shrugging, Hermione downed it in one shot. There's probably no reason to worry, besides... this wasn't the most reckless thing she's ever done.

Sleep soon took her over as she laid her head down to rest, on her pillow...

The same dream as always came, but this time more vivid.

The Darkness. The laughter. The man... but this time... it didn't stop there.

Things flashed before her eyes. So quickly she could barely understand what was going on.

Suddenly, everything slowed down. Scene by scene she watched them.

Death eater after death eater, cursing her, torturing her, violating her. And she could feel everything. The pain, the embarassment, the weakness.

And then there he was. Holding her. Saving her. Her past professor, the one she was sworn to hate. Yet, after all she'd been through, she felt safe with him. As if none of her cares in the world mattered. And she knew that she needed his protection, because this torture would not stop. The death eaters were after her, and she didn't know why, but the only way to make sure she would be safe was to help him. The order couldn't protect her, only Severus, and she knew she would have to betray everyone to stay alive. But how much would she be losing just to live? Her friends, her family, her love? Remus' face appeared, he looked sad, he looked pityful.

When she woke up she was sweating, and shaking. She cursed herself for wanting to remember in the first place, and for doing what she was about to do.

"They say curiosity kills the cat," came a sleek voice. Hermione turned her head quickly, to find a dark man sitting at the end of the bed.

"Professor?" she stuttered, still shaking from the dream.

"Are you happy you know? Do you now understand what happends to women like you?" He snarled, getting up and walking towards her.

"No, i'm not happy. And I will never do something that foolish again," she sobbed tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Well it's too late for regrets," he replied unsympathetically. "Your in this now," he grabbed her hand and soon she found herself infront of a mansion.

"Where are we?!" Hermione asked, panicked and fear on her voice.

"You stupid girl, never show your scared. Nothing will happen."

"Do you promise?"

Silence answered her question. Nothing good came from silence.


	6. Obediance is tolerated

**R&R PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OR ANY IDEAS OR CRITICISM OR ANYTHING!!!**

Hermione walked through the dark halls still hand-in-hand with her professor. Their footsteps echoed, mocking her as if what was yet to come would be so unpleasant. The walls were made of stone with dim torches placed along, though they gave off no light to make it any brighter. It was chilly, and cold. Damp, and frightening, but Hermione noticed none of it. All her attention was focused on the hand in hers and her soon to be fate.

They came up to large oak doors that seemed to reach up to a never-ending height. "Wait here," Snape growled pushing the door open and walking inside.

Thinking it wasn't a good idea to eavesdrop in a situation like this, Hermione stood patient. She could hear snipits of the conversation. There were three voices in the room. One obviously was Severus', the second was probably the Dark Lords, but the third she hadn't the faintest clue.

"She could be useful," she heard from beyond the doors. Then some mumbling and pieces of words. "Traitor," "Dangerous," "Foolish Girl," Death Eater." None of these she could put together to make any sense as hard as she tried.

Suddenly the doors opened interrupting her thoughts. "Come in," her professor snarled. She slowly obliged and soon was just pulled through the doors. "Kneel," he commanded. Shocked she stood and gazed aroung. The room before her was a magnificent sight. Portraits of wizards hung on the walls, and a large fireplace was off to the left. Dark green fabric carpeted the floor, and a velvet covered green, and silver chair sat in front of her. On the chair sat a man, skin as pale as snow... nearly translucent. "Just kneel you stupid girl," he commanded again, this time both a threatening and pleading gesture in his voice. Still she stood. She saw Severus move his arm slightly and found herself crashing on her knees to the cement floor, crying out in pain.

The Dark Lord in front of her laughed. "You were right Severus, she does follow your demands... eventually. Takes a little time though. Perhaps she's not quick enough, a little slow in the head?"

Hermione shot a glare at him, and opened her mouth to say something deciding not to.

"Did you have something you wanted to say girl? No? Oh, well I'm _very_ sorry if you were offended by my comment. Best you keep your eyes to yourself though when in front of your lord," he chuckled, and she glared harder.

"Your not my lord," she spat, perhaps getting a little to carried away added "And you'll never be."

"We'll see about that," he responded calmly. "Severus you failed to mention that the girl had a tougne on her. Typical for a Gryffindor, always thinking they have more courage then they do."

"I..."

"You, will be quiet and speak when spoken to," he snarled. "Now girl. Tell me what you know."

"Never," she spat back.

"My lord. This poor excuse for a woman, she's no good, I assure you," the third voice started, and now that Hermione could hear it clearly, she recognized it. The voice was ice and cold just like his sons. Only a Malfoy could have a voice like that.

"What would you know about any good Lucius, what have you done for the Dark Lord lately besides getting yourself locked up?" Snape remarked snidely.

"Silence Severus. Lucius, I must agree with Severus here. I would rather you not speak your oppinions until you prove your worthy enough to even exist. Miss. Granger, you are friends with Potter are you not?" Voldemort asked.

Hermione looked up from the place she knelt. "No," she replied hoping he wouldn't see through her.

"Come off it you dumb child. You dare lie to me? I can reveal every secret of yours in a matter of seconds so you might as well start talking now or we'll have to do this the hard way," he snapped back. Hermione followed the remark with silence. "Very well then," he said and she felt him plunge deep into her mind revealing all he wanted to know and more. The plans of the order, the members' personal secrets and even her confused love for Remus, were now Voldamort's and there was nothing she could do. In a split second she had betrayed everyone she loved and it wasnt even her fault. But they wouldn't believe her.

She glared at him as he smirked cruelly. "Now that wasn't very fun for you was it? I presume you'll be a little more willing next time? Severus get her out of here, I need a word with you."

She felt numb inside, and even as Severus pulled her up she wasnt sure she could walk. He brought her to the door and pushed her outside. "Don't think of running off, I assure you it won't be pretty," he warned and she shuddered, memories of her dream coming to mind.

She was left alone in the hallway once again with nothing to do but lay guilt on herself. Why hadn't she tried to stop him? Harry had taught her Occulumency but she hadn't used it.

Her thoughts interupted by footsteps and she looked up to see a shadow. It was a man, and as he walked closer Hermione recognized him though she couldn't remember his name. He was the orders insider to the Death Eaters and no sooner then she had recognized him, that he recognized her. Astonishment filled his face, and anger soon followed as he darted down the hall towards the entrance. This was not good. He was going to tell the order she was here, and she would have a lot of explaining to do.

Just then, the door behind her opened and out walked Severus along with Lucius, his blonde hair shimmering in the moonlight. Severus roughly grabbed Hermiones upper arm and pulled her down the hallway with Lucius following on her left. They all walked in silence, Severus angry about something, Lucius seeming a little too happy, and Hermione, scared that if she said something she would get hurt.

They exited the castle and Severus stopped abruptly. "Well Lucius, I don't think i'll be needing your help with handling a little girl. Good night." And with that he apparated them back to Hermione's room.

It was still night so the entire house was asleep. Snape pulled out his wand, silencing the room and glared at Hermione.

"Is it impossible for you to ever keep your mouth shut? Or are you just stupid enough to run it off to anybody you like?" He snapped at her.

"Just because your cowardly enough to betray everyone around, does not mean that everybody else is."

Snape's eyes suddenly grew fire as he slammed her back into the nearest wall, and with his faces only inches from hers he snarled, "Were fighting a war here Granger and theres only two sides. The living and the dead. Now i'm not risking my life to play games! The Dark Lord has plans for you far worse than you can imagine but I had managed to convince him otherwise, for now. So, if you want to die let me know, I may as well just kill you now, but if you want to live I suggest you do as I say and keep your obnoxious mouth shut!"

In silence she just looked at him, her eyes wide in fear. "Like that," he added, letting her go as she collapsed on the ground from the lack of support. Her knees weak, tears formed in her eyes.

"What do I tell them? The informant... at the mansion saw me and ran, he will have told them I was there. So, what do I say?" She asked her voice shaking.

"Bloody hell. I don't know. Your supposed to be a brilliant witch are you not? You can figure something out, I have more important matters to deal with now. But you may want to get ready because there is somebody acending the stairs towards your room." And on that note he flicked his wand, removing the wards and apparrated away, leaving Hermione in a crumpled heap.

Then there was a knock on her door, and Remus, the voice that she needed to hear most, was on the other side but not saying the words she needed to hear. "Hermione, if your in there come downstairs please, I need to ask you some questions."


	7. Tears and Confusion

Hermione sat motionless on the floor. Despite the knocking on her door she couldn't bring herself to stand. Standing was for people and she felt lower than a bug in the dirt. Tears rolled down her cheeks, and she breathed deeply. It was all she could do to not cry out. What had she gotten herself into? They were all in trouble and it was all her fault, just because of some stupid walk she felt like taking one night. What the bloody hell was wrong with her?

The banging on the door continued, and the voice outside became two and three, all shouting for her to open. "Hermione open up!"

"What if she isn't in there?" One asked frantic.

"Enough of this," she heard and the door burst open to reveal a worried Remus and Harry, and a terribly angry looking Moody.

"Hermione!" Harry shouted, running over to his best friends side, and Hermione remain motionless where Snape had left her.

"Bring her to the kitchen!" Moody snapped storming out of the room. Harry and Lupin helped her up.

"I don't need help," she whimpered, moving on her own. She didn't want their help, they were just going to hate her anyways. As she entered the kitchen everything went silent. The entire order was there including the informant who stood in the farthest corner.

Hermione sat down at the table and gazed down refusing to meet anyones eyes. Harry was the first to speak. "Hermione... where were you tonight?"

She knew there was no point in lying to them, and she didn't want to lie either, but she wasn't going to give up this easy. She would play it cool, so she looked up into Harry's eyes. "Why do you ask?"

Harry looked around uneasily at everybody but this time it was Remus who spoke. "Dierdrew reported seeing you at the Malfoy mansion. The Death Eaters head quarters. He said it was dark but he was sure it was you. Was it you?"

"Yes," she nodded. "But I wasn't there by choice." Her eyes flickered to Lupin's, and the look he returned her with stabbed at her heart.

"Why were you there Hermione?"

Hermione sighed and looked down again. She could face anybody but Remus. To see that much worry and dissapointment in his eyes just hurt her more. "It's long, and complicated."

"I think we have time."

Hermione paused and thought carefully. If she told everyone it was Snape who saved her... it would make this worse, especially after what he did to Dumbledor. "I got kidnapped one night when I was walking by death eaters, they would have killed me if someone had not stopped them. He promised to keep me safe on the condition that I help him. I never agreed to, but he forced me to the mansion and threw me in front of Voldamort. He read my mind and now Voldamort knows everything! Were all in a lot of danger," she told her story... or most of it at least. The response was shocked silence.

"And who was this man?" Remus asked, anger in his voice.

"I don't know," she lied. "But I thought he was there to protect me, and now..."

"You thought a death eater was going to protect you? Are you crazy?" Mad Eye roared.

"He saved my life once! That doesnt go unnoticed. I wouldn't be here right now if it wasnt for him! I would have been raped and murdered!" Hermione shouted back.

"You stupid girl! Your going to get us all killed!"

"Hey! Leave her alone!" Molly shouted back putting an arm around Hermiones shoulders. Once again tears formed in Hermione's eyes as everybody around her started to argue. This was all her fault and she knew it.

"We could use this to our advantage," Mr. Weasley stated.

"And just how do we do that?" Mad Eye questioned.

"We could give Hermione false information to feed You-Know-Who, and when they think they're ambushing us we'll be ready."

"That could put Hermione in serious danger Arthur. We all know it and..."

"I'll do it," Hermione interrupted. "If it makes up for the damage I have already done, then i'll do it."

"Hermione, it's too dangerous," Harry pleaded.

"Look i'm dead if I do, and i'm dead if I don't. If I don't give them anything, Voldamort will kill me, and if I let him continue reading my mind he'll kill all of you." Silence ensued and she continued. "So I might as well just go through with this. Im already in more trouble than I can imagine so what could be worse? Now if you dont mind me... I need to be alone." And with that, Hermione got up and left.

* * *

She shut her room door and leaned back against it, closing her eyes. "What is wrong with me?" she asked herself. Now that the chance was here she cried. Tears poured down her cheeks as she lay motionless on her bed.

_Your never this stupid hermione..._

_Why would you do this..._

_All for a man who doesnt care about you?_

_What about the one that does?_

_No.. your right he doesnt care about you.._

_Especially not after what you've done..._

A voice in her head was talking, like her concience but meaner. And she knew it was true. It was all true. She screwed up big time, and there was nothing she could do to fix it.

Still laying on her bed, she faced the wall and didn't bother to turn when the door opened.

"Hermione are you okay?" A voice asked as he sat on the edge of her bed.

"Yes Harry i'm fine."

"I'm worried about you Hermione... I don't want you doing this."

"Harry, if I refuse to, then we all will die."

"I know that, but we could hide you. Some place no one will find."

"What's the use in that? He WILL find me. Voldamort isn't stupid... he will find me and kill me anyways."

"Please don't do this."

"It's too late..."

"I won't let it..." And with that said Harry got up and walked out. She knew there was nothing he could do... and she was pretty sure he knew it too.

She turned and faced the wall again. She didn't feel like living, because she knew how this would end. And knowing that she may have lost Remus forever killed her more. After several minuted she heard the door open again.

"Harry please... I'm not in the mood for..." And as she turned she stopped as she saw a tall man standing in her doorway. He closed her door and moved towards the bed. "Remus..." she whispered.

He sat on the bed and stared at her... confusion and sadness all rolled together.

"Remus, i'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for all this to happen..." He placed a finger on her lips.

"Just don't talk for now," he replied replaced his finger with his mouth.

Hermione was shocked. She had wanted this for a long time but something told her it was wrong. She pulled back, "but what about Tonks." And he merely shook his head and continued to kiss her. She melted into his mouth and they became one. One hand wrapped into her hair and the other ran down her front. He was gentle, almost hesitant. As if he worried that he would break her. He unbuttoned her top and started to kiss her body hungrily. From her neck to her breasts he moved still gentle, still elegant. She was in bliss as if all her dreams came true, and for the night she wouldn't have to think about everything else but her, and Remus, and love.

When the night was over they lay there, covered in only a sheet, her head on his chest and him cradling her in his arms. She looked up at him sleepily and asked, "Does this mean you forgive me?"

And he smiled.


	8. No other choice

Hermione woke up the next morning alone in bed. Still naked she got up and wrapped a sheet around her, rubbing her eyes in the process. She was so sleepy... why was she so sleepy? She walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. Then last night hit her like a wave.

_What did you do Hermione?_

_You slept with a married man!_

_But you liked it, and you know it._

_It was everything you imagined and more._

_But what about Tonks?_

_What would Harry think?_

_Now you'll have to face him..._

"Am I interrupting something?" Came a husky voice.

Hermione shrieked and spun around, the sheet slipping out of her hand and exposing her body. "Severus... sir... professor... sir.. uh oh bloody hell," she stumbled trying to pick up the sheet and re-cover herself.

Snape chuckled to himself amused with her clumsiness, "Well good morning to you too Granger," a smirk placed firmly on his lips.

She glared at him and pushed her way by him, "Excuse me." She then picked up her wand, gave it a flick and replaced her sheet with clothes. "Is this important? I'm hungry."

"Not so much. Just checking up on you, making sure you weren't thrown in Azkaban... or banished... or something. Were they hard on you?" Severus asked, only allowing a little concern to show.

"No... they were just concerned. I told them everything. I had too," She added at the angered look on his face. "I left out you though."

"Well good job. Leave it to a Gryffindor to be honest," and he apparrated out of the room.

"Well that was strange," Hermione said aloud and left the room herself making her way to the kitchen. As she entered the room was alive. Harry, Ginny and Ron were having their usual animated conversation, a bunch of random members were talking beside them, next was Moody, Arthur and Kingsley all dicussing something deeply pausing a second when Hermione entered. Moody still looked angry beyond recognition. At the end of the table sat Lupin and Tonks. Tonks shone brightly and waved when she saw Hermione, leaving Hermione's stomache sinking with guilt. And Lupin who was looking annoyed with Tonks usual chatter look up at Hermione and smiled lightly. There was an unusual glow to him... though that may have been Hermione's imagination. Other than that there was nothing to show that anything happened between them, and though that was probably for the best, Hermione couldn't help be annoyed.

She sat down beside Ron and joined in the conversation.

"The Chudley Cannons are BEYOND the best Quidditch team Harry! Your nuts!" Ron tried to argue but Harry had the smug look as if he just won the battle. "Oh bloody hell! Alright you win!" Ron slammed his hand onto the table.

"What's going on?" Hermione asked confused.

"Well, Harry said that he bets he could beat the Chudley Cannon's seeker in... uh Hermione?" Ginny started but Hermione was too distracted. Lupin had just got up and headed towards the door making eye contact with her as he passed.

"Oh shoot, I uh... forgot my wand in my room guys. I'll be right back," Hermione shuffled her way out quickly and into the library. " Remus..."

She saw him standing there looking a little distraught. "Would you like to go for a walk with me Hermione?"

"Yeah!" She cursed herself for sounding too eager.

They left the house together and started down the street. "Hermione... people do things, they don't always approve of." She knew where this was going and her heart sank.

"Remus... please."

"No, let me finish. We may do things we don't approve. But that doesn't mean we didn't want to. Tonks and I... we have been having some problems lately. And i'm thinking of leaving her."

"Remus if this is because of me then don't do it."

"Hermione this isn't because of you," he stopped and placed his hands on her shoulders. "I've had my eyes on you for a long time now and... well..." He leaned down to give her a kiss, and their lips connected first subtly, then deeper.

Suddenly Hermione felt rough hands on her pulling them apart. She screamed for them to let go and she looked at Lupin. Two men in masks had him as well and as he struggled she watched them curse him and knock him out. She continued to scream and struggle even as pressure was forced around her and they appeared in the same dark room she was in the day before. The snake like man sitting on his throne.

"Oh, you've brought a friend with you today," he sneered. "Who are you?" He asked as Lupin started to become concious.

"That's Remus Lupin my lord. The werewolf my dumb sister married." One death eater that had brought them here said.

"Remus Lupin, friend of James Potter, mentor to Harry Potter, member of the Order of the Pheonix," Voldemort mumbled in deep thought. "You could be alot of help to us."

"I'll never help you," he spat.

"Your choice," Voldamort shrugged. "Avada..."

"NO! Dont!" Hermione burst out, cutting off Voldamort.

He turned to Hermione slowly. "How dare you speak to me mudblood. You are to speak only when you are asked. Crucio!"

Hermione screamed and writhed in pain on the floor. Her vision blurred but she could see Remus struggling, against the people holding him, to get to her side. Then the pain stopped, and she was out of breath on the floor.

Hermione stood slowly and glared. She looked at Remus and worry was written in every crevice of his face. "Now mudblood," Voldamort continued. "Do you have anything new for us?" Hermione looked back at Remus and then back down. "No? Or do we have to play our little mind game again?"

"There hasn't been an order meeting yet," her voice trembled out.

"Are you lying to me mudblood?" He questioned, his eyes boring into her.

"N..no," she stuttered. Even an honest answer like that wasn't good enough and she felt him plunge into her mind again revealing everything from last night.

Voldamort chuckled idly. "Well, well, well. The wolf seems to have a play toy." And embarrassment flooded Hermione. Not only was she standing in front of the dark lord, but he had just seen her fuck a married man. "Bellatrix, Rudolphus, bring the wolf back to where you found him... and don't have too much fun. I want this fresh in his mind." Hermione turned and watch them grab Lupin and vanish, then she turned back to Voldamort. "And mudblood. Next time you are retrieved, you are to have some piece of information that is useful to me... or your precious werewolf will die." Hermione glared in response. That was all she could think to do. "Severus, take her away from here and do with her as you wish."

A masked man came from the shadows and grabbed hold of her. She looked into the eyes of the mask but he refused to look back, as he grabbed her wrist and they apparated away.


	9. Think before you speak

Hermione opened her eyes when theyre feet landed on the ground. "Where am I?" She looked around. They were in a deep red room lined with book shelves reaching from ceiling to floor. There was a large oak desk in the centre of the room with a wooden chair. Hermione recognized this as the room she was brought to before. When he saved her life. "Why am I here again?"

"You can't go back right away. They'll suspect too much." He responded sharply searching through the books.

"Wait... so your saying i'm stuck here?"

"Well heres your choice. You stay here for a few hours or you go back and get questioned to an inch of your sanity. And even a nieve gryffindor should know the answer to that one." He was being harsher than usual.

She couldn't understand why he was so angry. He wasn't this mad this morning, besides... she didn't tell the order that the informant was him.

"Tell me Granger, when did you become a little whore?" Snape didn't bother to turn around.

"Excuse me?" Hermione was shocked... _did he just..._

"Sleeping with a married man," he shook his head with a dark chuckle. "That's low... even for you."

"I don't think who I sleep with is any of your business thanks. I'm sure a person of your type has slept with more woman than you can count, and i'm sure not all of them approved either. So where you come off commenting on who I screw confuses the hell out of me." And before she could even finish Hermione was slammed against the wall, Severus's nose touching hers.

"And just what type of a person do you think I am Granger?" His eyes were dark and menacing, and Hermione's heart raced. "Do you think i'm nice because i'm helping you?"

"N...no sir," she stuttered.

He looked at her with a cruel smirk on his face, and his eyes looked down at her button up shirt. "Do you think I care, because i've saved your life?" He unclipped the first few buttons slowly with his wand exposing her bra.

"N... no sir," Hermione couldn't do anything but stutter. She was scared and aroused at the same time.

Snape leaned in close to her ear, his hair covering her face and his warm breath on her neck. "You shouldn't play with fire Granger, it can get out of hand." He pressed his body against hers. "Watch your words girl... or your life's going to get complicated."

Her heart felt like it was about to burst from the speed but she couldn't stop herself, "It already is." She only had the time to see a dark smirk form on his lips before they crashed on hers and her mind went blank.

It was mindblowing the way he moved on her, sending her to places she had never been. He was rough but gentle. His hands were everywhere and she couldn't think, almost couldn't breath.

_He's your teacher! _

_I don't care. He's amazing._

_This is wrong Hermione, stop it._

_This isn't wrong. It can't be._

_This is heaven, and he is god._

When it was over she laid there on his desk naked. She was tired and numb. She looked over and Snape was standing at the bookshelf, still clothingless. She admired his body. He was tall and lean. And the curves he had were something that even Leonardo Da Vinci couldn't draw. He turned to look at her. "Guess your checking death eater off of your to do list."

"Not to mention teacher," Hermione smirked.

He just stared, "Get your clothes on. You need to get back soon... your dog will be worried." He spat the last bit at her.

_Why should he care?_

"Right," she nodded and put her clothes on, then glanced at him expectantly.

"Yes?" Snape raised an eyebrow.

"Well, you can't expect me to apparrate myself out of here with the wards you set up."

"You would think a witch of your intelligence could find her own way out of here," he muttered and grabbed her hand taking her to her room and apparrating away at once.

Hermione watched the spot he just stood. She couldn't understand what his problem was. One minute he was carressing her and the next he kicked her out. She laid on her bed and stared at the canopy above her bed. She couldn't get the images of him out of her mind but sirens were going off at the back of her head.

_Good job Hermione, that was smart._

_Two men in two days._

_What would Lupin think about this. About you doing... him..._

_Snape... I can say that name. No... Severus._

_Whatever you call him doesn't erase the fact that he's your teacher and you cheated on Remus._

_But wait.. we were never dating. He told me he loved me... well sorta... _

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. "Hermione?" The door creaked open and Harry peered inside. "Oh thank god. Remus I found her!"


	10. Wrong place, wrong time

The door flew open and Remus rushed inside. He sat on Hermione's bed and looked at her with concern. Concern she felt she didn't deserve. "Hermione, are you alright?"

She didn't respond. She couldn't look in his eyes, she didn't know what to feel. Her mind was numb with confusion and guilt. A part of her was happy she was home, but another wished she was still lying on that desk with _him _standing beside her.

"Hemione," Lupin shook her lightly. "Hermione, say something..." Tears welled in her eyes and as much as she tried not to she started sobbing. Remus took her in his arms and held her, rocking slightly while several people stood in the doorway. "It's okay, don't worry, it's okay," he whispered, his face buried in her hair.

But everything wasn't okay and she knew it. She had no choices anymore, no more control. If she didn't help Voldamort, he would kill Lupin _and _herself. She couldn't bear to be at fault of his death, she loved him too much.

_But how much do you love him if you could sleep with Severus..._

_How much could you love him if you would do that to him._

"I'm sorry Remus. I'm so sorry," she knew what he thought she was apologizing for, but it was better if he didn't know the truth... not now.

"It's alright Hermione. Nobody blames you," he soothed. "Listen, come to the kitchen, have something to eat." She nodded, got up slowly, and walked down the stairs to the kitchen. The room was lively as usual but the moment she stepped in everything went silent.

Harry jumped up and pulled her into a hug, "I'm just happy your okay." She couldn't help but chuckled inside about that.

She sat down and Molly put food in front of her. She ate in silence, and everyone watched. As she ate she felt the tension in the room grow, until someone decided to talk. "What happened to you?" It was Harry. Hermione stayed silent and continued to eat. "Hermione... please talk to us."

"Talk girl!" Moody roared.

Hermione continued to look at her plate. _What am I supposed to say... I can't tell them about Remus... Or Snape... _"I... I don't remember exactly..."

"Maybe we should use Legilimens. It could help you remember," Ron offered.

"No! No... that's okay. I just need some sleep," she got up and left the kitchen. All she wanted to do was sleep, make her mind stop reeling its constant jabber. She went upstairs and lay in her bed, closed her eyes and fell asleep.

It had been almost a week without hearing anything from Severus. She found that odd but relieving. Hermione knew this wasn't over... it was far from over, but she couldn't help be happy that she could enjoy a few days of peace. The order had stopped asking questions, everyone talked to her normally and she even had some fun with Harry, Ron, Ginny, and on occassion with Remus. But even during all of the happiness she had that nagging part of her brain telling her something was going to happen. Snape was going to come get her and she would have to tell Voldamort something.

She was sitting in the study reading when an Order meeting was called, not for everyone. Kingsley walked into the library and up to where Hermione was sitting. "Hermione, we need to talk to you in the kitchen."

"Sure..." she responded, closing her book and getting up. She knew exactly what this was about, she was just waiting until they would finally discuss it.

"So Hermione, you haven't heard anything lately from..."

"The informant?" She offered sitting down. "No, its been about a week and nothing."

"They're bound to come get you sometime, so we need to discuss what you will tell them," Arthur pointed out. Hermione sat in silence and looked at them expectantly. "We were thinking that you should tell them we are investigating suspicions on several spies of theirs in the ministry."

"That's too broad. He'll know im lying."

"Then make it believable," Moody said angrily.

"Moody, she's only trying to make sure the plan is fool proof," Arthur defended her.

"Nothing is fool proof with Voldamort. She should know that, and she still got herself into this mess!"

"Would you excuse me?" Hermione got up angrily and stormed out.

_How could he blame this all on me?!_

_Well it is your fault._

She started the shower in her bathroom.

_My fault? I went for a walk! _

She undressed and stepped into the steaming shower. The hot water felt nice on her skin.

_Just when I started to enjoy my day..._

She got out of the shower and dried herself off, putting on her bra and panties. She looked at herself in the foggy mirror while she blow dried her hair. Her mane wasn't as curly as it used to be, and it thinned out some. Her hair fell in waves passed her shoulder, which complimented her slender frame. She'd grown up a lot since school, and she wasn't a little girl anymore... but with the situation she was in she felt as childish as ever.

Hermione opened the door of her bathroom to find a man with a black cloak and hood sitting on her bed. "Snape, if your here to take me to Voldamort i'm not going. Not today."

"I don't think you have a choice," the voice that came from the man wasn't Snapes. It was cold, and icy making Hermiones stomache flop. The man got up and turned towards her, his long silver hair coming out of his hood. Lucius Malfoy. The hate inside her swelled, but when she looked at his face and the dark smirk on his lips fear took over. "See, i'm not like Severus. I don't give you choices." His eyes raked her body as he stepped closer. Her wand was on her night table and he was directly inbetween. She took a step backward only to hit a wall. There was no where to go and she was positive he put silencing charms up. Her heart raced and the way he looked at her told her this wasn't going to end well. If only she put clothes on before she stepped out of the bathroom.

He was now standing right in front of her, his eyes filled with ice and darkness. Lucius grabbed her wrist and Hermione began to panick. "What are you doing?"

"Taking you to the dark lord of course," he chuckled to himself, and at that moment Hermione really wished she had her wand... and a shirt.


	11. Unusual Affections

"Ugh, let go of me!" Hermione screamed, only to recieve mild chuckles from the man holding her.

Lucius Malfoy. The root of all evil, at least in half the wizarding worlds mind. If there was anyone the world hated almost as much as they did Voldamort... it was Malfoy. And the fact that she was now standing in front of the #1 hated man in the world, in only her bra and underwear, with the #2 hated man in the world holding her arms behind her back, she was not happy at all.

This room wasn't the usual she had been in. There was no throne, no carpet, no nothing. It was totally dark and the only thing she knew was in there were the three of them. "Well, well look at this," the snake like voice that chilled her bones filled the silence. "Lucius I merely said bring the Granger girl here... I never said like this." He then turned to Hermione. "Everytime we meet, it's something new. Like to keep things interesting hm?" He chuckled darkly.

"Don't even think about touching me," she spat.

"I would never lay my hands on such filth. But even if I did, what would a mudblood girl like you be able to do about it?" Hermione stayed silent. She knew he was right... she couldn't do anything about it, she didn't even have her wand.

"Now what news do you have for me today?" Voldamort asked. Hermione stayed silent thinking about her options. "Mudblood, I don't think your in position to deny me information."

She took a deep breath, "They're investigating people in the ministry who they suspect are spies for you, but they didn't say who." Voldamort smirked.

A pop sound came from the shadows and another cloaked figure walked into the light hesistating when he saw Hermione.

_That can only be one person..._

"Severus. So glad you could join us," the dark lord hissed. In response Snape nodded. "Well now that were all here Lucius you may go. I need to speak to Severus alone." Malfoy turned taking Hermione with him. "Leave the girl." Lucius hesitated giving one last look at Hermione's body and walked out.

Hermione turned back to face Voldamort. She didn't have her wand with her so the smart thing to do would just be to obey him.

"Kneel mudblood," Voldamort commanded, and Hermione did so. "Good girl. Severus, breaking her down I see?" He laughed to himself. His laugh was like winter at its coldest. "Now, down to business. I have decided having trust in the girl for information isn't getting us very far so I have a new plan." Hermione's heart raced... did this mean the end for her? "Severus, you are going to rejoin the order."

At that Hermione's heart dropped. That could be even worse than death. Having both Severus and Remus in the same house hold. And Snape knew all about her and Remus, but Remus knew nothing... "But my lord..." Snape cut in, "The order doesn't trust me after I killed the old fool Dumbledore. They'll never trust me again, the only reason they did in the first place was because of Dumbledore."

"Ah my boy, that's where she comes in," and Voldamort looked into Hermione's eyes making her skin crawl. "You girl, will ensure he fits into the order smoothly or else all of my previous threats will be like chewing on cauldron cakes compared to what I will do."

Hermione tried to slow her heart beat but her breath was ragged and out of control. She couldn't handle this, what would she do? How can she make sure they trust him? And not only would she know of a traitor in the order but she wouldn't be able to tell anyone or risk the persons she loves deaths. On top of that both Snape and Lupin in the same house with her, at the same time?

"Severus, I need to talk to you now. Join me in my study. The girl can stay here," Voldamort said while turning away, and Hermione really didn't like his tone of voice. She watched them fade into the darkness. The silence surrounded her and she realized just how naked she felt.

_What am I going to do? I just can't wait here..._

"I gave you your information! Let me go!" Hermione screamed into the darkness.

A gut-wrenching laugh came in response as Lucius approached, his silver hair shining even in the lack of light. "You should know death eaters better than that," he said as he started to unbutton his shirt. And Hermione fainted.

When Hermione woke up she found herself in a bed that wasn't hers. Her body was sore and bruised, her head hurt, and she felt as if her skin was ripped open in several places. She looked at her arm and scars could faintly been seen.

_Where am I?_

She remembered the room and started to panic. She was lying in a bed of green silk, there were two lamps in the room that gave off very little light and the walls were dark red. The door opened and Snape walked in.

"Oh good, your awake," he said plainly and put towels in the bathroom.

"Severus, where am I? What happened? How did I get here?" Questions came flying out of her mouth as tears streamed down her cheek.

Snape walked to the bed and held her in his arms. An affection that was strange for him, even to Hermione. "One question at a time," he whispered. "But first... calm down."

She slowed her breathing down and nestled in the warmth of his chest. "What happened Severus?"

"Death eaters happened. Lucius Malfoy and this whole bloody situation happened. I came as soon as the dark lord was finished with me... but..." He cut his words off there and looked down at Hermione.

She gazed up at him through the strands in her hair and for a moment she saw in his eyes something more than that cold hard wall she was so used to. It was concern, and caring. The idea of a man like Snape with an emotion other than hate was so unreal she almost didn't believe herself. But she had seen it. She knew she had. "Severus... what's going to happen to us if the order doesn't let you in?"

Silence followed.

And she knew too well that silence was never good.


	12. Insensitive as always

After quite some time Severus got up. "You should take a shower. Theres clean towels in the bathroom. Your scars should be fully healed soon as well."

Hermione hesitated. She didn't want to leave his sight, his presence... she was scared and with him she felt safe. "Don't worry, I'll be here when you get out." He reassured her.

She stared into his eyes, nodded and walked into the washroom, closing and locking the door behind her. She undressed and stepped into the shower. A feeling of disgust washed over her. Used and hurt, she wanted to wash every inch of her she could but no matter what she did she still felt gross. After what felt like hours, Hermione got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around her. She looked in the mirror at herself and could see faint outlines of scars along her body. She didn't want to know this time what they did, she learned her lesson with the last death eater encounter that she couldn't remember.

Clothes were laid out on the chair by the door, a fresh pair of jeans and a t-shirt sitting neatly on top. Hermione put them on and opened the door and as promised, Snape was sitting on the bed staring at the ground. He looked up, his brow furrowed with worry, but as soon as he saw her he composed his face. "Are you hungry?" He asked.

"A little I guess," Hermione nodded and followed him towards the kitchen. She understood what he was worried about, it was the same for her. There was no way the order would let him back in after all the damage they believed was his fault. It was up to her to make this happened or they both would be killed. But how much was she willing to risk? Her life? Severus? Remus... "Oh god... what will they do to Remus?"

"What are you mumbling about?" Severus asked not sounding like he really cared. His change in attitudes was giving Hermione whiplash.

"Nothing, I have to get back to the order," Hermione replied quickly.

"Voldamort really is only after you and I so, if your wondering, i'm sure your dog will be fine.." Snape spat coldly.

"Don't call him that!" She screamed back.

"Why, it's not like you actually love him. Or do you?" He raised an eyebrow and smirked when she looked down. "You actually think he would love you?" Severus didn't know what he was doing but he couldn't stop talking. Anger was rising inside him. "He has a wife, and a child. Why would he love a child like you? Your probably just his chew toy to occupy him while the dog house is empty. The moment his marriage is back on track, you will be nothing but an affair." Tears were streaming down Hermione's face, and he instantly regretted what he said. "Hermione..."

He was right and she knew it, but she didn't want to believe it. Everything Snape said made sense and she was childish to believe otherwise. Hermione sat down at the table in front of her defeated. She looked up slowly unable to hide her emotions, and Snape cupped her chin in his hands. "Hermione, i'm sorry." _Sorry... a useless word._

"Can I have my food so we can get back to the order and figure this out?" she changed the subject but her voice cracked sounding just as defeated as she felt.

Severus sighed and walked to the stove finishing the good old fashioned ham and eggs. "Any ideas on how were going to approach them with this?" He said finally when he gave her the plate.

Hermione just looked at her food suddenly realizing how hungry she was. "Well... I figure we may as well approach this head on."


End file.
